Rantyn and Raven

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything so before I get into this article I’ll catch you guys up. Over the last few months I have gotten to know myself a lot better. I’ve learned I’m not as interested in marching band as I thought I had been. In fact, I’m really not all that into band at all. I’ve been focusing really hard on school work, which is one of the reasons I haven’t written much. The last two weeks or so have been extremely relaxed so I’ve had time to let it all catch up with me, and can once again have time to write to my readers (if i have any, if not, it’s fun anyway). One major thing that has happened since I stopped writing is I had a relationship.

Now, I am not a huge fan of teenage relationships, I think they trap teenagers into commitment that’s unnecesarry. When I decided to date him, I figured it’d be a good chance for me to learn what I did and did not like in guys. Here’s the problem: he didn’t see it that way.  Like most teenagers he was stuck in this idea that all relationships have to be serious and I just don’t go for that. So, after 3 months of trying to convince him I just wasn’t that into serious relationships, I couldn’t take it anymore and broke up with him. As bad as this sounds, I’m rather glad I did. Since we’ve broken up I’ve had a lot more free time, my grades have improved and I feel much more like myself. I guess when it comes down to it, I just don’t like relationships. Especially relationships with clingy guys who try to take every ounce of attention they possibly can from me. Which seems to be most teenager relationships.

I know most teens reading this are probably wondering how i didn’t get my first boyfriend (and yes, my first kiss) until I was 15, and worse in my junior year. I’m honestly glad though. If I had had that pressure on me at a younger age, I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today. So, if there are any younger teens reading, who are considering dating, don’t. Wait. When you wait longer to date, it gives you a critical mindset to your relationship. You’ll be able to observe yourself like you would observe other couples, and it makes your decisions much clearer. Having control of your own side of the relationship is extremely important, because neither of the two in the couple should be powerless.

Now, for parents. From this experience I learned that the best way for parents to provide input to a child’s relationship is NOT by force. The best way to approach something you’re concerned about in your teen’’s relationships is to ask them about it, more like a friend. And no, no parent should be a friend all the time. But if you approach your child with a genuine interest that isn’t judging, and don’t pick on them or demand changes (at least at first) you’ll get much further. You’ll learn what your teen thinks about the relationship, and they’ll actually listen to your advice. Don’t start making rules or telling them who they can and cannot see until after you’ve tried this. Of course, this may not work if your child isn’t used to talking to you without you judging, so take it one step at a time to save the awkwardness.

I, personally, am calling for a change in teen relations! I think this idea that you have to be someone’s bf or gf to date them or like them is ridiculous. Teen dating should be about getting to know the opposite (or same, if you roll that way i suppose) sex. Not about picking out a life partner. Parents aren’t helping this either. Many teens are afraid to just date someone. They think their parents will see them as promiscuous, when usually it’s much safer than dating one person constantly. It’s not all the parents faults though, most teens want to seem “adult” and adults have serious relationships. What they’re missing however, is that adults date many people and only become exclusive after they’ve decided that they enjoy one person’s company above that of all the others. It takes TIME!

Anyway, I feel I’m just going to start repeating myself if I go on with this any further. So, I’m ending my rant here.
BYEZES!!!!

-Raven

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ok, so i told you there was a large chance of me writing another one… so… i’m going to.

1. Why are finals called finals? its stupid… it makes them seem like they’re some big thing that make or break whether you pass the class…. and.. they DON’T. unless you already have like… a D, chances are your final isn’t going to determine whether or not you pass… they won’t determine too much of your GPA either…. it’s 10% of a class that is 10% of your gpa… in all… it’s about a 1% difference–and then, it will be divided by how many classes you have….. So, i think the only people that freak out about finals are the people who are never going to fail them anyways… because those are the people that already have like 4.0s and a -.1 could actually mean one less scholarship, as for the rest of us, they’re useless, and not worth the hype they’re given–now if only kids would focus the study ability the use during finals on the REST of the school year!

2. why do people insist on listening to the stupidest ideas? think about it–every great scientist and revolutionist has been laughed at for being weird and/or crazy–you’d think that eventually humanity would learn to listen to us “Weird” people… this is after all conditioning/trial and error, right? isn’t this why we have history class; so history wont repeat itself? And since it obviously isn’t working, WHY AM I STILL TAKING IT… EVERY YEAR???????????

3. SINCE WHEN ARE SOCIAL/MENTAL DISORDERS A FASHION STATEMENT? as much respect as i have for therapists…. about 80% of them are TERRIBLE at their jobs. I mean, every kid I know thinks they have some underlying mental disorder…. can’t we just be human? isn’t that bad enough without adding ADD, OCD and…..all those other letters to our profile? and if you’re GOING to label us with disorders, can you at LEAST do it RIGHT? I know that every kid in america is NOT ADD… and if they are… god help the next generation. Not to mention, only 3% of the world is truly gifted, yet 1 in 5 kids i meet says they’re gifted. last time i checked, being crazy was a BAD thing, but it seems that all the attempts to get people to listen to the weirdos (refer to #2) have just made all of these stupid conformist think that being weird and crazy automatically meant you’d be famous.

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OK, so this blog post is gonna be all about–you got it–BLOGS! ok, not ALL about blogs. simply stating something I just realized.
If you make a blog that involves more than one person…. make sure the other people are willing to write every now and then… I’m feeling really lonely on this site because out of the however many posts there are on this site, only 3 of them aren’t mine. and this will get into my explanation of why i haven’t written anything since march; I was waiting on SOMEONE to do SOMETHING and it wasn’t happening… so here’s my new idea: I will write, and write, and not care that I’m dominating the site. (that SOMEWHAT rhymed) Sound good to you?

-Raven

PS. I HAVE a myspace!!!!!

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so have you ever just sat down and thought, like, a lot? i do that… a lot. and i always come up with questions that drive me crazy for days…… here are some examples (and a couple classic pondering questions) and m y general thought process towards them:1. Who was the first person to start using tools?Think bout it… its the beginning of earth and there’s nothing…who was the first person to use a tool??!?!?!?!?!?!!!!! there must have been someone….. and there’s a first for everything! it bothers me because with all of the inventors we know of, we don’t know the revolutionary man (or woman) who first used tools!!!!! I know I know, we didn’t have history books then… and most likely the person didn’t have a name… but I’m dying to know!!!! It is, as some people say, what separates us from the animals..2. why does our nose look like it does?Isn’t the nose the trippiest part of our body?????? it could have been any shape, and we get stuck with this odd thing. some people confront this with ‘well, what about our feet or hands or ears and i always say “BUT THOSE SERVE A PURPOSE!!!” having a nose that protrudes this far doesn’t help us smell better (think about pugs, pigs, bats and all those other animals that have small, compact noses)…. it just makes it hurt more to run into a door… i just feel really bad for people with big noses….3. why are there so many blue eyed people these days?-blue eyes are recessive-blue eyes do not work better than other shades, they’re actually more sensitive-”survival of the fittest” says DarwinSO WHY IS IT THAT EVERY OTHER KID I KNOW HAS BLUE EYES NOW!???!?!?!?!-I’ll probably make more of these eventually… keep reading.-Raven

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I have been thinking a lot lately about which is more important: being with the times and modern, or being natural. when you think about it, it really is a perplexing thought. I started thinking about it when we were learning about daoism and confucianism and stuff like that in school. Personally I think it take a balance, but I really do think natural should be more than modern… and knowing not to cross the line with either is a good way to live, it also depends on what exactly the topic is, here are some examples:Style/looks:ok, so i’ll just lay this down now so all the women out there can hate me right off the bat: I HATE anything that makes a person look other than how they’re born. I get so mad at people who think that people who don’t wear makeup, and spend hours on their hair every day to make it someone else’s, etc. aren’t taking care of themselves and that they have a low self esteem.. in fact, i think the people who are turning themselves into a completely different, “flawless” person are the ones that have low self-esteems, it shows that they don’t like themselves as they are, and i say this because the only days i wear makeup or do my hair are the days when i don’t feel pretty enough for whatever I’m doing (or when I’m really bored). I think we should all get over this idea of perfection and rather wear our flaws with pride and confidence, that is what is REALLY attractive after all. Although, I do have to bring in the ‘crossing the line’ thing here and say that if it is a professional environment, you should dress up, not because you don’t look ok as it is, but because professional environments ARE about conformity, and being one so ones natural looks may not be enough like everyone else’s to fit such an environment.views/lawsthis is the trickiest part of a natural vs modern argument because if the laws are too natural, what separates us from animals? and if the laws are too modern, we are stuck to performing as robots and walking on eggshells, OR we are stuck to breaking the law. Personally, I trust people’s natural judgment enough to say that I would prefer a natural law base. Surely, there would be problems, but more than there are now? i doubt it. when the world was full of bardering and trust people relied on one another, and so they didn’t hurt each other as much as in today’s world where everyone is separate from one another so people only care about themselves , and then to feel like they gave back to the community they give money to foundations for civilizations that have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with us, and whom we give more to than anyone else as it is–when they SHOULD be giving money to their neighbors who are barely feeding their children. And I’m NOT talking about welfare… I think it would be much better if we just looked out for each other, like communities used to. but since the government doesn’t trust us to do that, they set up welfare. since when did people who actually NEED welfare use it anyhow? we’re giving money to people to pay them off for doing nothing, and telling them its ok, instead of handing them the classifieds.As it stands, it seems nature is the winner.well, that concludes this rant I may find some more points eventually, and trust me, I’ll post them as soon as i do–RAVEN

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Eventually i will say things that aren’t real words, or slang words… just… Raven words. Not very grammatically correct most of the time, but they make my sentences more fun! so, in honor of this, I’ve decided to make a list, for you, the readers to know my vocabulary better. rules:

1. I reserve the right to use IM/Txt speak. I don’t when talking because i think its annoying that it’s something that preps made fun of for geeks for 3 years ago and all the sudden it’s cool.

2. When I’m hyper, an adjective and -NESS is all i need to describe how i feel.

3. Adding an S to a word automatically makes it fun.

4. As many people do, i put -ish after a noun to describe things. it happens. and if it bothers you, tough toenails

5. EMOTICONS ROCK!

6. I am known for using big words. get used to it. It’s not my problem if someone else doesn’t know a word.

7. If i add F before an adjective that starts with a vowel, i apologize in advance, it’s a habit from reading books by Scott Westerfield too many times

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Losing accountability is losing control.

  This is one of the simplest yet most powerful statements I know.  It is true in every aspect of my life that I care to test it against.  As a parent, if I lose accountability of my teens when they are out then I lose control of their environment.  As a leader of a group, if I lose accountability of the members’ actions, then I lose control of the direction in which the group moves forward.  As a taxpayer, if I lose accountability of the money that the various governments collect from me, then I lose control over how that money is spent.  

  My plea to our teens this week: Take accountability for your actions and stay in control of your lives. 

  The easiest example I can think of is education.  There is some discussion lately about standardized testing and how this type of testing is or should be considered some kind of indictment on the education system.  This may be the intent of such testing, but if YOU allow the education system to take accountability for what you learn, then YOU are giving the education system control of what you learn.  Do not let an education system that is designed to “educate” as many of you as possible within the given constraints of time and budget control what you learn and how well you learn it.  Get out there and research, experiment, and learn on your own.  If math is hard for you, find someone who understands it and get them to help you.  If math is too easy for you, then find an outlet for more challenging material.  In either case, do not let your education system become the excuse for your lack of success.  It is too easy to sit back and say “The education system failed” or “my teacher sucks”, placing blame (accountability) on someone else.  By saying this you are also saying “I cannot control the outcome of my learning, only the education system can do that.”

  This is not to say that some things should not be changed.  Obviously if an education system cannot meet the needs of the community it serves then it should be changed.  But as a teenager, you are not usually in a position to affect that change and you cannot afford to let it be an excuse.   

  Your education is just one example of accountability and control in your life.  As you get older you will struggle with, or appreciate, this concept more and more because you will be allowed to choose more of what to control.  You will get to choose which things to stay in control of and which things to let go.  Be sure to make your choices wisely and try your best to understand the second and third order of affects.  What you choose to lose accountability of, and therefore control of, will be a personal decision based on your values, cultures, and goals. (Risk vs. Reward) I mean I lose accountability of my trash once it is collected, but I do not feel a desire to remain in control of my trash once it is collected.  Others may feel that control of their trash is important and therefore may elect to maintain accountability of it by taking it to the dump themselves.

  Some things require several persons or entities to have accountability and therefore control.  Elections are a great example of this.  Each individual is in control of their own vote and therefore is accountable for their one vote.  However, the election is decided by the majority and therefore the majority is accountable.  You are not accountable for the majority unless you control the majority.  We all have to live with the majority vote.  In instances like this hold the majority accountable for their actions, their vote, but do not hold the majority accountable for youractions as a result of their vote unless you want the majority to control your life. 

  Always remember to ask yourself who you want in control of any given aspect of your life before you ask who is to blame.  Doing this will lead to a life you control.

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Hey,

You can call me Rantyn,  Im 16 years old and i am a guy. As my sister pointed out I take pride in a natural abillity to clothe myself well (It’s all for the ladies = D )  this leads to a few questions that i will put to rest before we start our discussions, I am not of homosexual orientation, i have been thus branded as a “metrosexual” (a guy with taste).

General Interests

 I am definately a romantic at heart, and more so, a musician, the combonation of the two tend to help me out a lot when it comes to writing songs, and getting girls ; ) Singing is my life, I also play guiatar and just started a band with some of the kids at my school. I also  like to play pretty much every outdoor sport (recreationally) and love hanging out with my friends. Ive always taken joy in making other people laugh and (as it will probably show in our post) take pride in being very sarcastic(In a good way). Politics have been a decent-sized variable in my life, my views are conservative and my party of choice are the republicans. Most of my friends are liberals so i tend to have quite a few debates during skool. As Different as me and Raven are, we are linked by one thing, Music, Our taste is generaly the same and we often suggest songs and bands to listen to, to each other

School

Skool, although not my favorite event is one thing that has stayed constant and has helped me make the awesome friends that i have over the years. I am a junior and can’t wait to graduate next year. History and English are my favorite classes but for the most part i enjoy being in all of my classes. I know you may think because my dislike of skool that i am a little less than intelligent, but i am quite smart, and was diagnosed as gifted a while back.

Later = D

I leave  you now with the hope that i have given you a good idea of who i am and maybe a look into how my mind works

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  No not really, but it is the Blog I have been waiting for.  I am a mid thirties father of two beautiful and talented teenagers, one is a boy and one is a girl.  Up until recently it has been fairly easy for me to be a part of their lives.  However, they have come to that point in their lives where “hanging out” with dad is not all that cool.  I can understand that, I mean I wasn’t exactly cool when I was their age.  They are also starting to reach that age where “breaking away” from my wife and I is normal.  So my challenge was how to keep up with them without actually interfering with their lives.  I labored over this for months and a few times felt panic creep in as I knew my time with them, the time to be able to influence them, protect them, nurture them, was coming to an end completely.  (My eldest will be heading off to college in less than 18 months……We hope).

            I tried to set aside some time in the week for each of them, time that was not intrusive to their schedule and yet accommodated mine.  So every other Friday I took them out, one on one, in an attempt to stay connected.  Well, needless to say this was not the answer.  I enjoy their company and still take them out, but trying to cram everything that had happened in the last two weeks into a few hours was impossible. Now I do not mean to sound so pessimistic.  I manage to keep up with what is important to them throughout the week and I still share a very open relationship with both of them.  But it just doesn’t seem the same now that their sphere on influence has grown.  I had to find something and I think I finally have:
            Both of my teens love to chat, staying up late at night; just chatting.  At first I did not like the idea of talking to friends on the internet for such long periods of time, however, since we are a military family and had moved often I  began to see how it was helping them adjust to their new home. Being able to talk to other teens about the challenges they were having being the “new kids” again was, well, it was awesome to be quite frank. 
            Also, both of my teens are very outspoken about their beliefs, opinions, and choices, a fact that has led to many family “discussions”.  You know the kind of discussions that end in shouting matches. 
            Then one day, it dawned on me; why not let me teens talk about what is important to them with each other and teens from around the blogosphere.  Then other teens can feel comfortable talking about sensitive and not so sensitive subjects with other teens and Parents of Teens (POTs) could find out what is going on inside the minds of our teens these days.  My vision is that this will turn into a resource for teens and POTs. 
            So here we are at the end of my justification for this blog.  Not that anyone needed one, but hopefully by now you get the gist of what this is about.  Once or twice a week I will post a topic that my two teenagers will discuss.  This is just to open the dialogue.  Where it goes from there is up to you really.  I am hoping that both teens and (POTs) from around the country will enjoy the posts and formats.  

            For the sake of my teens’ privacy, we will call them Rantyn and Raven, Rantyn being my son and Raven being my daughter.  Their first post will be an introduction.  Neither I nor my wife will edit their posts for anything other than details that may betray their privacy so you will be getting uncut, raw reactions to America of today through the eyes of tomorrow’s Americans.  Not all of their posts will be political.  As a matter of fact, outside the topics that I give them to comment on, their posts will be on anything but politics.
            We highly encourage teens and POTs to comment on any and all the posts and we even have email accounts you can reach us through if you have something more private to say or ask.
            This will hopefully be my longest post, since you did not come here to listen me.  You came to this site to read what teens have to say.  So good luck and happy blogging.

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  So have you ever wondered what teens in this country might think about what adults are doing to and for this country?  Have you ever been curious about how the political, social, economical and entertainment scenes look through the eyes of teenagers?  Have you ever wondered what made this guy or that band or this song so popular with kids? 

  If so, then this is the site for you.  My teenagers, Rantyn and Raven (names changed for privacy reasons) will address many of these topics every week.  My intent is that their comments will encourage comments from other teens and parents of teenagers (POTs).  The advantages of this is the anonymity that is not as easily protected with individual social sites that are so important to teenagers today and the collective posting of many teens and POTs on one site.

  For teens, this site will allow you to communicate your thoughts about the topics in an open forum without having your personal information in an open forum.  You can ask other teens questions you may have about topics and even ask us POTs questions you may have about parents.

  For POTs this site may help you work through some issues you may be having with your own teenagers.  It should allow you to gain access into the world of our teenagers.  It will provide a support system of other POTs.

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